Kindergarten! I was five when I started. School for me was mostly a horrible experience. Kindergarten was probably one of the better years. I didn't get along with a lot of people. I was one of the brighter children in my class, along with two others. We were pulled aside often to do work independent of the class. I remember learning things like the difference between to, too, and two. Oh fun times. I tried to get along with other kids in the beginning. I tried talking to them, didn't work well. I was very interested in politics and music. I try to spend time speaking politics to five and six year olds. Obviously it didn't go over well.
Later during the school year I became more and more ostracized and children began to pick on me, or try. I was a tough kid. They would hit me, try to bully me, and I'd stab them with a pencil or slam their fingers in doors. For the rest of my elementary school years (k-5) my kindergarten teacher went around to every teacher I had. Telling them to all watch out for me, saying I'm a problem child who causes trouble. I found it interesting being that she saw them bullying me and just saw me reacting. I once had my arms held behind me while another kid pushed me in my stomach. I got free and punched one of them in the eye, magically I was the one who was in the wrong. Silly silly Ms. Felco.
I don't remember much, I never made any friends in the first grade and I hardly talked to anyone. I did try but I failed. Kindergarten is a blur, it was so long ago. I do remember the graduation to first grade party however. Which wasn't that much fun for me. I just wanted to stay by my mother and eat cake.
First Grade! This is when things went downhill for me and I began to develop social anxiety. I tried hard to get along with other people. I often went up to people and talked to them. I thought I was having conversations but in retrospect I was just talking "at" them. I was still very interested in politics and would discuss war and economy. Six and Seven year olds aren't really interested in those subjects. Some of my teachers were and my grandfather whom I had discussions with which could last hours.
Back to interactions. I talked to kids, tried to. I was always called weird and was always pushed aside. It wasn't sad or lonely. I felt pressed to speak to others because my teachers kept telling me to and my parents wanted me to. Back then I didn't understand most facial expressions, if they're overt I will, but who wouldn't, regardless of Asperger's? I didn't get tones most of the times and I never understood sarcasm, I actually still don't. I take everything literally and it's frustrating speaking to people who are very sarcastic and joking. Anyway, back to first grade! I did very well in school. I scored E for excellent (highest score) on everything except when it came to social skills. There were 5 categories, which I don't remember. I just know I had 1-2/5 scores in each. "He's a very bright kid and he's a joy to speak to but he never gets along with others" was the constant statement. I feel others don't get along with me.
I began getting very stressed and would often sit in the back of the class (where my seat was) constantly tapping the metal lockers next to me with my shoe. My teacher thought I was doing it just to be annoying and disrupt the class on purpose. The majority of the time I never noticed I was doing it. My parents were called in multiply times, my seat was moved closer to the teachers desk.
I love research, research is very fun. I sat at the teachers desk collecting information on the students. Their addresses, numbers, parents names, and home life. I compulsively research everything. Everyday after school I'd come home and would constantly research whatever new obsession I had. Durring first grade I was still interested in politics and I would come home, read books, look at the news, read newspapers regarding the subject of the country and political leaders.
In the second half of the year I got a new teacher. Who was my favorite teacher. I had her for two years straight because she requested us again in second grade. I cried when she left the school, it was a sad day, June 26th. She worked with me and helped me improve on my people skills. The improvments were little, extremely little. So little they didn't impact anything; however, the fact she tried to help versus labeling me ADHD and saying nothing more, was a nice thing. I made two friends in first grade. I even went to birthday parties on two occasions. At the actually party I just wanted to stay close to the person i knew but I couldn't and would often find myself alone just waiting to eat and leave.
So yeah, that's all.
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