Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I hardly ever get jokes. When I do get them it's usually 8 hours later when the person doesn't care anymore. For example. My uncle asked me what am I going to do. I wasn't sure what he meant so I needed further clarification. I asked if he met in the future, like a career, and he said yes. I told him I want to be a dentist so he replied "you want to play in peoples mouths?" and I said "I guess so" and he said "I know you don't know any girls." and I was completely confused what he was talking about. I thought about it on and off all day and it finally came to me 9 hours later.

This time of thing happens to me very often. I often call my friends, the few I have, the next day saying "Oh i get it now!" after thinking about it on and off. They find it funny but one of them does the same thing as me.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


So I'm 20, and it's time I get a job. I've never had one and honestly I have no clue what I will be doing. I've been looking around I filled out a few of those employment quizzes that are suppose to tell what personality you are so they can see whether or not you fit, and I'm getting the sense I don't fit.

I'm thinking of jobs like Janitor or mail room things. They don't seem to be too socially heavy.


So I've been moving so I haven't made a post in a while but I am starting back up today!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

School Life - Seventh Grade

So I've been without internet so this is VERY late.

Seventh grade was the grade when I finally made long standing friends. The friendship lasted five years and broke down due to stupidity.

I didn't enjoy most of my classes. I did however, enjoy music and English, in that order. Music class was the best class for me. I was allowed to practice in the vault and never go to lunch. I hated lunch. It was loud and there were often too many people. There was this girl at lunch who would hit me in the head with these little things and the boy from 6th grade liked to slap me on my head whenever I cut my hair. A girl took pity on me and tried to be my friend; however, things didn't work out since she saw me as a snob.

How I came to make two friends I find very odd. I was in math class and I took part in a game of charades. A girl who was to become my friend for the next five years slapped me when I guessed correctly a song that she loved. She said there was no way I could have known it and should have stopped lying. She then hugged me and laughed. I didn't get it, I still don't get it. It just makes no sense. I was confused.

The second friend was also weird. I don't know how we became friends. He was very outgoing and loud. In line he skipped me and I got upset and went back in place, he then proceeded to push me and curse me out.

I wasn't liked by anyone but those two, and even then barely. We didn't become good friends until two years later.

In music class I had fun playing music. I got made fun of and people would sing songs about me. I was bothered but there wasn't much I could do. I didn't do much but stay quiet and gave everyone the finger. Soon they started to mock me for giving the finger so much. Saying I should sit on it.

I got low grades except in a few classes like music where I consistently got 90s and above. I became obsessed over the trombone and would play it as much as I could. I became the schools best trombone player and was told I was the best trombone player they've had in 5 years. I didn't like attention and I refused to play with the band when they went out. I was just too nervous to do things like that.

My band mates bothered me in the vault. They would make fun of the way I said things and say overall mean things. I didn't enjoy it much but I just ignored them and continued to play.

Gym class was hell as usual. I hated it. I failed a few classes and was soon put on locker room duty where all I did was make sure the rooms were clear and then sit out the rest off the class. People would make fun of me there too but it didn't bother me so much. I would sit down and people would throw things at me. It was annoying. My friend, who was more of an acquaintance at this time would also sit out classes. We would talk. I enjoyed giving lectures during the class. People would make fun of me though. I was a smart ass who knew everything.

I had a bit of a bully he was very annoying. I ignored him most of the time. There were also three boys who were his friends that often tagged along. I refuted much of what they said using logic. Which apparently made me stupid.

I was followed once from school and someone stole my trombone, but they gave it back later.

I sometimes walked home on the block people walked on. One of the girls I disliked insisted on walking with me. She kept making comments about how oddly I walked. She asked me why I swung my arms so much and I told her it was because I had something in my left hand.

I don't know what to do with my arms most of the times but when I have someone in one hand I assume I should move the other.

I finished the school year, grades not all that good but good enough to get me into the second top class.

Monday, September 27, 2010

School Life - Sixth Grade

On my first day of Sixth Grade I was early and I met with my teachers. They were both very nice. I was put in a "slower learning" class despite being highly intelligent and a quick learner. Both of my teachers were confused why i was there. I had the math skills of a high school senior and the vocabulary level of one in college, yet I was in slower learning classes.

I went through much of the same, being taught things I already knew, but this time I was given advanced material by my teachers to work on separately. I was thrilled. I was actually learning something in school again. I had choir in this year. I have an okay singing range and voice but I was worried about singing in public, so I didn't. I sung once. My class being people who were slow learners and rowdy, where very annoying and loud. I couldn't take it most of the time. I would put my head down and drive my thumb into my middle finger while they yelled.

I got into a few altercations in this year. A boy spat on me. I don't know why. I stayed out of others business and tried to stay by myself as much as I could, but I was always a target. The boy who spat on me highly annoyed me. I started to strangle him, someone grabbed me from behind and insisted he punch me, but he didn't. I went back to class as if nothing happened. The teacher told me I can't go around fighting people when they do something like that, but she said he deserved it, and smiled. Another boy used to stick his finger in my face all the time, I grabbed it and tried to break it but I was stopped.

At lunch time I was picked on, people would say things about me, but I did have one friend. I don't remember his name now, but we got along. I used to lecture people in gym class about science, no one listened much. I hated gym, I never got dressed and just sat on the bleachers.

At lunch again! I got side tracked, at lunch I got into a fight. I accidentally popped a button on a boys shirt so he came over and punched me in the head. He punched me about five times. While he was punching me I was thinking the whole time. "Why is he doing this, what is happening?" He walked away after that, and I punched him in the back of his head. He fell and I got picked up by the dean. I don't remember her name but she was fighting cancer and had a few legions on her face, she lost her fight four years later. I liked her, we had to write about what we did. I didn't think I did anything wrong. My parents had to go to school and it was very bothersome. I didn't tell my parents they had to come to school until the next morning.

There was a girl, Christina, whom I hated. She used to bother me all the time and would put her finger in my face. I grabbed her wrist when I got to my breaking point and forced her to the ground until she apologized. I didn't get in trouble for this. Another boy who did the same thing (sixth grade was pull of face pointers) I punched in the stomach.

I made another friend during sixth grade now that I think about it. He was nice to me and we talked sometimes. That's about it. I got an award during this grade for straight A+'s on all my English reports. Math and Science although my passion, I did horribly. I never did homework. I passed sixth grade and went onto an advanced seventh grade class. Although it was an advanced class I still felt everyone wasn't that smart and my classes were still simple.

School Life - Fourth and Fifth Grade

Fourth Grade was the beginning of my downfall. I was thrust into a class with all new people and a teacher who didn't understand me. She was a first year teacher and foolishly listened to my kindergarten teacher's comments about me, those being "i'm a problem child" and to "watch out for me". I didn't know anyone, and I tried to get to know others but it didn't work well. The kids ending up hating me and everyone talked bad about me. Several times they tried to jump me, but I was good at protecting myself.

I hated my teacher, she didn't seem intelligent. I was educating her about things she was teaching in history, which I found ridiculous. I lost all respect for her but I didn't show this through disrespect. I was still respectful, but I made sure to insert little tid bits into the lesson after class. I never raised my hand, I was too scared to speak in front of others.

At times I would get too overworked in the classroom. It was loud and there were always kids screaming and yelling and talking. I often just asked for a bathroom pass and went walking around the school building for 10-15 minutes. The building was pretty big. I'd get back to class, sit down, and do whatever I wanted. It was usually related to what the class was studying, just more advanced. I did a lot of studying outside of school too, it's all I did. 

Fifth Grade was my last year in elementary school and my worst. My teacher taugh all the classes and she only taught one type of class. Math. I loved math before her but it was too much. I also enjoyed English and I barely got a chance to do it in the class. The teacher didn't like me, the science teacher who came by twice a week didn't like me. I used to correct my science teacher on things and he called me "bitchy" to the entire class. He also once grabbed me by my arm when I was in front of class and erased something he did wrong and corrected it. I went straight to the principal's office and told him about what happened. At this point in time the only person who liked me was the principal. People made fun of me a number of times. I was quiet most of the time and withdrawn. they would constantly call me names and it used to bother me, but I soon started to ignore them all. My 5th grade teacher listened to what my Kindergarten teacher said and labeled me a problem child. It was so annoying. I got along with one boy who knew me from second grade. I didn't consider us friends but he thought I was his very good friend. There was a boy who liked me, but we didn't get along well. He used to tap me and it bothered me. He tapped me on my shoulder once and I was trying to ignore him, I just got upset and punched him in the face. The principal just told me I have to control myself, and let it go.

I was ostracized at lunch time. I couldn't sit at the table with the boys, they bothered me too much. Boys are bullies. I sat with the girls usually with one other boy but the girls were just as annoying and pushed me out eventually. I mostly sat at an empty lunch table made to accommodate 20 people. I did the same thing in Kindergarten and first grade. 

In my last year I started getting really bad grades. I didn't care about work anymore and was more interested in what I was interested in, so I focussed on that. At the end of the year I graduated and won a few awards. I had the highest standard test scores for English and Math in the state for Elementary students. I took a few pictures with my parents while everyone else were taking pictures with their friends. I had none but one boy, who sat at the girls table, asked to take a picture with me. I said yes, the picture was taken. We went out to eat, me and my parents, and that was the end of my Elementary life. Sadly Junior High started and a minor hell.

Monday, September 20, 2010


I can't read expressions. It's a pretty typical problem. I was speaking to my cousin yesterday and he made a face that I didn't understand. Shortly after I laughed a fake laugh of course, but then I had to think about it. I don't think my laugh was correct and I spent a long time going over in my head his expression. I get so frustrated when I can't read expressions, I rarely can anyway, but it still bothers me. I'm a very analytical person, and I calculate everything I'm going to do based off the situation. If I can't gather information from an expression I don't know how to react. I end up pausing at times in the middle of face to face conversation.

People have a tendency to say things while showing a face that doesn't correlate with what they're saying. At least I think so, so it just annoys me.